hope for the cynic//peace for the planner
I find myself in a hard spot right now. How does the child teach the parent? Can the parent change? Only God can change hearts but I sure would like to see some quick results. Growing up with a cynic for a father (he calls himself realistic or practical), I have learned some very bad habits and found myself attempting to break out of some very tough and well aged molds. I would never say I had a troubled past. I had a wonderful childhood and loving parents but as I look back now in my twenties, I see the darkness that the light didn't touch. It is only now coming to the surface the traits I endowed. I take a hard look at what I have become and I so desperately want to cast blame. I want to point my finger and say "you did this!" How can I though? I see the other three pointing back at me and I feel ashamed and confused. A father who cared so much about his children is a wonderful thing but what is he forgetting to do that is so vital to their well being? A faith that the world sees as ridiculous but the Lord sees as obedience. Practicality and realism can be good in their own way but they are consuming and love to whisper lies in the ear of the believer. I love my dad. He loves me. He loves God too but I feel that he believes too often the lies. His passion to provide and speak wisdom are some of the greatest qualities. He believes in character and doing good by God and others. I respect that about him and always will continue to remember to be that way. My struggle with my earthly father is simply that my heavenly father is asking me to be obedient and let go of all security I provide for myself. He asks of me the hardest thing to ask of a realist. He asks me to surrender. How do you explain to a realist that God is asking you to let go and surrender? How do you explain you don't have it all together but you know He will provide? Let me tell you the answer. You cannot. Only God can. He is beginning to break me of the shell I put my self in. He is softening my heart to those who I used to look down on for not having it all together. He has shown me grace. He has shown me deliverance from the bondage of realism. Ask your self "what is realism?" I believe we call it getting out $hit together. Who has it all together? We are not even promised tomorrow. God is real and his word is truth. "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin." I do not worry because I know that I am responding to obedience. Is it better to drop everything and give your heart to the Lord or to say "yes God I believe in your power but I don't really want to believe I am in the place to drop everything right now because the world is telling me only hard work brings prosperity and you must have prosperity because that brings security and security allows me to not have to trust you so much." Let me just say HE IS FAITHFUL. Sometimes being obedient brings monetary blessings but most of the time it brings the most abundant and richest blessing of all: A complete authentic dependence on our good good (heavenly) father and let me tell you... you can't get more secure than that. 